Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Visible Man

They came. They saw. What? They saw me? Not again!

And thus began my travels as the Visible Man. I got off the bus somewhere downtown, and walked into a tanning salon. The lady asked me if I wanted to get a tan, and I simply said, "Invisible people do not care about their appearance," for at the time, I thought I was invisible. Similar incidents occurred until I realized everyone could see me. Especially considering that I am a middle-aged man, I felt ashamed of my foolishness. I was so sad, I wanted to turn invisible.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Essentially, there ended up being only three bloggers left.

Back in 1995, the Earthlings first began to record their daily mishaps. Enchanted with this "weblog," as it were, bloggers...excuse me, fanatics, ran wild with possibility. In the beginning of this decade (which, mind you, is not over until 2011) websites sprung up, hoping for untold million. It turned out that the cash was not only untold, but also unfound. It turned out that the Internet was not a network of pennies but actually just painted wires.

By the middle of the decade, "blogger" was in full swing as a term and poor slobs like me could run a blog which nobody reads out of their attic. Yes I am in my attic. Near the end of the decade, the process continued and led to the neccesity of "RSS feeds" and "filters" so that poor slobs unlike me (who read blogs, rather than write them) could manage the overgrown sentience of the BlogNet. (phwoosh! enter future speculation)

Just like cattle farming in the early 1900s, blogs began to compete.* Ruthlessly attacking each other with flagrant posts about the ___ writing style of ___ blog, a new type of website was coined: metablog; or a blog about shitty blogs. All across the northern blogosphere,** blackouts occured from this flooding of posts. Only a three blogs actually toughed the servers: (what did you expect?),, and another one. Case and point:

Give or take, I'll still come back here to post, once in a while.
* If you thought this was funny, then you are either Comrade Thai Guy or a hopeless conformist. Either way, that was just an empty reference.
** If you still thought that was funny you obviously haven't read enough xkcd. Do yourself a favor.